Ivan Musoke

Fight The Landslides!

I don’t know whether you’ve heard, but there was a massive landslide in Bududa over in the…some area in Uganda. I was watching the news the other day and all these people affiliated in some way with the Nation Media Group were pledging their allegiance to the cause. No, not the cause of the landslide, but rather to helping out people affected by it. Curiously, the amount of hype surrounding the Haiti earthquake was larger than this. No local artist, far as I can tell has come forward and promised to stage a concert whose proceeds will benefit the people suffering in Bududa. We haven’t been treated to an artist amalgam a’la We Are The World or anything. Just the sound of tears…and a visual of the president sympathizing with the families of those affected by the tragedy. A picture, that the good general shares with what appears to be an AK47. On the other hand, I suppose we would be making more noise (read; news) if said picture had the good general wearing gloves or if his pinky were wrapped in band-aid.

You can’t help but wonder what the deal is here. Why the heck would anyone carry a gun to commiserate?

“Oh, I don’t know, in case tragedy strikes again, it’s always good to make like a scout and ‘be prepared’”

The Red Pepper ran a piece in which they explained why the gun was present. I didn’t read it.

I have a theory of my own. I think, and please remember that I used the word ‘think’, that Nasser Sebagala (or Nas, if that’s how you lol) was reporting the matter to the Head of State as he is wont to when such shit goes down,

Nas: “My Excellently, there is a troubled brew down in Bududa. There has been a strategy of enormous pro…”

M7: “Hang on, what?”

Nas: “Enormous, doesn’t that one mean much size?”

M7: “Hmm, okay, go on”

Nas: “…portions. It was catatonic! Even my heart in my chest cried tears. My prezden, it said ‘waaah, waaah, waaah’ like baby…”

M7: “Bebe Cool?”

Nas: “No, like baby humen. Mr. Prezden, there was a landslide, like when Mao landslided me, even there my heart said ‘waaah, waaah waaah’ like Baby song…”

M7: “You mean, baby’s cry?”

Nas: “No, I mean song, that one for Bogolako”

M7: “First wait, did you just say Nobert Mao had a landslide in Bududa and killed many people? He won’t survive Janet’s Bark”

Nas: “Mr. Museven, I don’t tell Fasting Lady because my English, it is limited. In fact, I have use it all in this phone call…”

M7: “Not the first lady a.k.a Silver Fox, a.k.a Mama J, Janet is my faithful AK47! That is the one this character will not survive. It has been with me since the days in the bush. When we slaughtered more buffalos than you would as you recited the alphabet. “

Nas: “Eeeee, you are going to make my heart pour tears. Why you are insulating me that way?”

And the story went on. Point is, I can totally see why you would need to carry a gun now, Mr. President (not you Allan, the other guy) and I’ve got your back. Heck, I can’t wait to see what you’ll be arming yourself with when you decide to fight the floods. You are going to fight them, right?




  1. The reason we can so shamelessly wax all emo about the Haiti Earthquake, or the Asian Tsunami, or the like, but not about the Elgon Landslides, is because the latter are more-real to us.
    When you’ve lost a couple of (distant) nephews to the Landslides, you are not going to be able to trivialise the issue enough to think of banding artistes together to make a hit about it. Tears are all that can (and should) be done. At least while it is still a tragedy, as it (still) is.

    Some things are too big for organised response. Disorganised distress is a more-fitting response in such cases as this. Erecting any form or kind of monument to the memory of the lost would be, frankly, a trivialisation of it. We can only do such shit with others, when we (if we are being honest) don’t really give a fuck. Who cares a whit for Haitians? Compared to caring about Ugandans, not me. 😀

  2. LOVE, LOVE the banner? header?… the top half of the page 🙂 Oh, by the way, the comments’ display images, well, yours really… 😀

  3. ….so our bobi and crew donated thousands of dollars to haitians… bududa?? pity really, all they got was a fat man in army fatigues brandishing an AK47! is life unfair? yes, yes it is.

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