Ivan Musoke

In other news. . .

I have the flu, but let’s not make this post about that. I got an award from Sleek…I’m supposed to brag, but I don’t have that in me. Well, I could try, but shit, what could I say that you don’t know already? I be the realest, got posts so fly they should be up in the sky with birds…hang on, Microsoft word actually recognizes the word realest. Would that mean there is such a word as ‘realer’? It’s the Obama effect, I suppose. We have a boost of blackness in our vocabulary.

I’ve got three phones sitting on my desk. The Nokias are supporting each other in what looks like phonography (pornography…geddit? No, would you rather I said textual intercourse… What gives, Microsoft word recognizes the word textual?? Are these real words? Have I been out of it for THAT long? Which other word snuck into the lexicon while I was away…let’s see, ‘rentedmess’ . Aha, still not there!

I just realized I have not read today’s papers. I’ve read the pepper, but that doesn’t count for… great, the boss just dumped it on my desk. There’s an upside, the phones are hidden now. The headline on the Pepper- HOMOS WANT TO KILL ME makes you think. See the thing is, for a while now, guys have been purpoting to be gay with the hopes of getting asylum abroad, but now it turns out you don’t need to be gay to claim asylum. You can just say they want to attack you. George Oundo, I salute you! There’s a line where he claims that ‘some of these homosexuals are very powerful people…” er, okay. Bet there’s gonna be a probe into that soon enough.

The New Vision quotes the president of the republic as saying that opposition leaders are blind. How the heck is this news. He has been saying the same thing since forever ago. Of course at the time he said he was the only one with ‘vision’, but it is the same thing isn’t it?

Oh shit, the New Vision also reports that Robert Kayanja’s personal aide was kidnapped and beaten up by guys saying he should say that Pastor Kayanja had been sodomising boys. When he refused, they offered him $100,000 and pocket money amounting to $20,000. They also said they would fly him to a destination of his choice.

What is wrong with this picture?

First of all, I think they got the order all wrong. See, if you want someone to do your bidding, you start all diplomatic like then resort to violence if all else fails. You don’t beat a guy then offer him some money. He is probably thinking “Shit, half that money will go into surgery correcting the damage to my face”. Tell the guy, if you must that you will also pay his medical bills. Say you are sorry then dangle that carrot in front of his face. Don’t bloody hit a guy FIRST!

Secondly, they’ve got the wrong guy! The guy that outs gays is in the other paragraph and his name is George Oundo. As it stands, HE wants to leave the country, and clearly he is an authority on whose gay and who is not. Why go after the personal aide? George recognizes that there are some gay people, tell him you will make the playing field even for him. That’s the dude that wants the carrot! Give him the friggin carrot!

This flu has got the best of me, I’ll be right back.




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