Finger Of Spinch

Welcome to Uganda III: We Value Fingers

The big news this week was not so much the fact that gays had launched a recruitment drive…hang on, was that this week? And which generation actually felt that this was news? Fine, I thought it was sorta funny that Father Musala had been outed as a homosexual. That’s yet another PAM Award winner who just happens to be affiliated to the church that has had a brush with controversy… Someone later came out and defended him, ‘he is not gay, I asked him for some and he said no! If that is not straight then I don’t know what is. I mean, I am a good looking individual, shit I’d have sex with me!” the undisclosed person said.

Oh, right, I’m not one to point fingers, but turns out our President’s finger has been ill for a while. Oh shit! The war in the North will begin anew. Kony, who has been in hiding in just about every country on the African continent, must be planning a new offensive. “Oh yeah! Hollywood I hope you have your cameras ready, you don’t wanna miss this!”

Seriously, what’s the big deal? Is this the worst thing that can happen? Is that the END GAME? I mean the succession whispers are all over the place, “what if he can’t sign cheques? He will need someone to do that for him?” Cheques? For what, dude done told y’all he broke! “Do you think it will be Mbabazi or Bukenya?” Well, I don’t know about you, but shit, the next president better have all his fingers working. That’s right, as history has proven, we don’t need president’s of sound mind (RE: AMIN), we just need to have their fingers working.

Come next election, we will have Besigye being framed again by another person under his care, “And then he showed me his finger! It was horrible!” Oh man, it’s a sad day when you can’t flip the bird. How annoying is this stuff, I’ll tell you, I feel a tad horrible that I used the word Finger in the title. I probably should have gone with my initial plan and titled it “Welcome to Uganda Ep. III: Finger Edition”.

This will go down as the finger gate scandal. FINGERGATE! I swear, there must be a porn flick with that title. And why isn’t Microsoft word bleeping the word FINGERGATE? Oh, wait, a search on GOOGLE just revealed that the RICHARD-Ofunneka thing was called that (BIG BROTHER AFRICA 2: THE MAUREEN EDITION) and Obama apparently was involved in a scandal titled FINGERGATE. Nice! We are caught between development and perversions! You gotta love Uganda.

We still have street kids going hungry, but let’s dwell on presidential fingers.

What’s that? The roads are messed up, sorry, we are still looking into more pressing issues.

Oh, wait… The newspaper (government pamphlet if you will) reported today that the finger was getting better. Neat, did someone send a ‘get well soon ‘ card?

-heh, because his finger is messed up he is fast loosing his grip on the reins of power

Comments

comments

14 Comments

  • chanel Reply April 3, 2009

    middle fingers

  • chanel Reply April 3, 2009

    imagine even the parliamentarians wanted to dwell on it. his singer is sick he should hand over to someone else. as if when their toes are plastered they let another man take over their bedrooms and wives. we dont hav drugs for Peter’s sake, how about that

  • 31337 [E] Reply April 3, 2009

    i would show the finger but i would be deemed too generous.

  • The Emrys Reply April 3, 2009

    maybe the reason his finger has been sick a long while is coz we have run out of drugs, and no roads are not as important as his finger, when has a bad road ever made the headlines two days in a row tell me

  • spartakuss Reply April 3, 2009

    you need to be fingered!

  • Ashy Reply April 3, 2009

    Snap yo fingers, do your spin…

    I LOVE THIS! 😀

  • Ugandan girl Reply April 4, 2009

    @Spartakuss…lol..thats naughty..
    I like the finger edition..very nice…:lol:

  • Baz Reply April 6, 2009

    Heh heh. You said finger. Heh.

  • Loco Reply April 7, 2009

    I’d like to point out that there are many serious issues to fink about when a president’s finger is on the line. How will he go about his political finger pointing, how will he eat fish fingers or even fingerlings? And various other presidential fings I can’t really put my finger on right now!

  • Lionel Reply April 7, 2009

    Why am I so uncomfortable with the finger edition?

  • Heaven! Reply April 8, 2009

    reminded me of a French Monarch Louis the 10th, i think? whose house help, it is said, found a toe in one of the king’s socks when he was doing his laundry…and the man was still at his throne!

  • Be silent Reply April 9, 2009

    Eeish that finger has become something else but the red pepper pictures show the left hand finger today and tomorrow it will be the right hand one. So which is which maybe it is fingers Snap

  • Sleek Reply April 22, 2009

    quite the silence…In other news, you have been prized with Honest Weblog award…
    Here for details

  • Sleek Reply April 22, 2009

    that shda been quit…

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