Please vote Barry into the White House (Baz, that black-house shit still isn’t funny!) Please you guys. Let Obama win, so that the guy I report to at work doesn’t skip work and leave everything to me. You see, the thing is; dude supports Arsenal and they have been having a less than stellar run lately, so he figured if he goes through one more disappointment, he will take a break. This, more than anything has deepened my resolve to take a more active role as far as soccer goes.
Moving on, here’s some stuff to think about now, as our brothers in the West go and touch screens in an attempt to make history.
1. What’s the deal with feeling inclined to support Barry? I mean, I am a self professed Obamaniac, but I can’t justify it the way those analysts on the tube do. Did I miss the part in his campaign where he promised us East Africans green cards if we gave him our support?
2. How exactly is our support going to help Barry win? I am genuinely surprised by the lack of activity on my cellphone. No, really, I half expected SMSMEDIA or TRUEAFRICAN to send me a message thus, “VOTE YOUR FAVOURITE CANDIDATE BY SMS-ing his name to 8198 or 7197 and you could win!!”
3. Has anyone considered just how easy it is for thieves to take inventory right around this period. All one has to do is lie in wait and then note down the houses that have people yelling with excitement. Also, it’s easy to be discerning. The ones with yells that have like 5 minute gaps in between them have Pay-TV and that enables them to watch updates every five minutes or so. Those with yells separated by days have free-TV, so it’s really your call.
4. Is any of the higher ups in our country actually watching this stuff to get a rough idea of what democracy is? No, you idiot, I’m not referring to the exorbitant spending on clothes, I mean, the way Tina Fey has had a blast making fun of Sarah Palin… and how that other dude also made fun of McCain. What? That really WAS him? Crap!
5. What are the odds that we shall ever go to the polls and vote by touch screen? I mean, peeps have had practice with Iphones, but what happens to the rest of us mere mortals? What if the experience is so overwhelming… what if we steal the screen? Then again, it is a pleasant step up from stealing “shot” glasses.
6. Isn’t it kinda cool that we don’t have to endure soccer talk for a while? I mean, no more conversations featuring the words, “Offside, Penalty and Free Throw”…is that not bliss. Then again, I know a guy that wants to strangle anyone that uses the word “primaries”
… er, yeah, as in, “that girl is too young for you, dude. She is still in her ’primaries’ “
7. If (GOD FORBID) McCain does win, are new parents going to name their offspring after him? Actually, that’s a given, we are shallow suck-ups. I suppose what I mean is, will kids with his name turn up before or after he visits Uganda?
BARRY HAS WON and the Mac has conceded defeat.
-Quoth The Mac, “America has spoken, and America has spoken very clearly” Translation, “America has taken me to the cleaners. I’ve had my arse handed to me by Obama. I’m outtie bitches!”
-Quoth some guy back here, “Hussein is the President of the United States!”
-Quoth me, “Now we can get some sleep. Wake me up after he is sworn in”
-Quoth desperate news anchor in UG, “Obama of DP has won! This announcement paid for by Ssebana Kizito”
-Quoth Obama, ” ”
– Quoth some other random guy, “The force is strong in this one”
-Quoth a republican, “I sense a great disturbance in the force”
– Quoth Bebe Cool, “Big is Big!”
My “er-boss” says he will buy me lunch as consolation for my candidate’s loss… I’ll tell him about my allegiance after lunch!