Allow me to re-introduce myself

Many a people done been asking I and I why I done decide to become roco artis. I fink this be unfair classificalisation. It be a margination even where y’all be thinking we not good enough. We hip, we stylish. We done ‘ad it wit y’all hatin on us and callin us names. We be standin up to be counted. We shall now be referred to as Indigenous Artis. In short, and in the interest of y’all not bitin ya tongues, you can call us eye-ahs! So that means if dat lady frum KFM done decide to join us, y’all be saying, ai-ah-aisha!

I n I done realize dat I av not introduce ma self ma props. You will call me IT. Like its short for Ivan Tamale, but it is not. That’s not IT‘s real name. I am anonymous like that biscuit in Bobby Valentino’s jam that may have inspected me to do this song…or inspired or whatever. See, de way afi go about it, I’ma release chart topping no.1 new album single called IT Is Da Shit. It ain’t random jam about constipation. Is tight new single with guarantee of number one status on di radio wiv a monkey oh…ok dat line done been used by radio and nasal…but point is, me will av number one hit. I paid producer to grease pums of radio deejay.

I been axed why not I am calling IT TI. I tell you this one. Some punk ass visa wielder done go and get de name before I N I did. But it’s okay. He no cool the way I are. In fact, I be ‘ere lookin fru da Circular Vitamins (CeeVee, doh!) of potentshow collaboratuz. I be impressed by dis guy Shawn “dof-nuts”. He really ryt dof like cough, but as an indigeneous artis, IT has to be helping brethren.

SO, without waistin time, I give you rylix to first number one jam to top de charts of radio… is inspired by embattled religious head.

Artist: R. Kelly IT | Album: Double Up IT is Da Shit | Title: Rock Star Pastor

Selekta, Track 56. Hit it! One time, many Time…Summer Time.

Lights, Flights, thats the me stamina in action
I’ma rock star pastor
Check Scoping da crowd church’s reaction
Im like flights, thats for the some stamina action
Ima rock star pastor
Check the dis child’s reaction
Im like

Hey, you I’s a rock star pastor baby
Up in the buildin makin air the club cabin crew go crazy
Hey you’s I’s a rock star pastor baby
Thowin Ya lonely ass like that u must need
be a rock star this pastor baby

[ Verse 1 ]
Chica, hey
Ima lay hands on ur body ya body
like a guitar harp’s string
Stuntin Struttin in roberto Cavalli Economy Class
Glasses wit the dime plastic frames
Hotter Sorta than like Tamales u’ve probably
should seen be my wild thing
Tell dem other chicks hostess chicks, mind
they own business n let us do
our own thing
I gotta open ya lay hands
open-strokin now ya soakin snitching
wet Shit!
and IT not from texas Bugos but i
hold em, rope em n and I broke
they neck (cummon!)
You gonna make a “prayer” loose
Show me what that thang’ll do
First Class is in session let me
sh-show you a thang or 2
I’ll strip minister ya, i’ll strip ya minister

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Comments

comments

31 Comments

  • Dufff Nutsz Reply September 8, 2008

    You forgot the part where the hype man goes, “yeah. Yeah.” Wach dis. Throughout the song.

    And then claims co-writing credits.

  • Dufff Nutsz Reply September 8, 2008

    Oh. I forgot.

    Firssss on y’all.

  • Miss Cheri Reply September 8, 2008

    Socks.

    Hi Duff Nutsz. Are u, by a remote chance, related to Dizzy nutz?

  • Ivan Reply September 8, 2008

    Bloody Roco Artis taking over my blog, Ugh!

  • 31337 Reply September 8, 2008

    now i am wondering who the dummy here is.

  • 31337 Reply September 8, 2008

    wait. me has a songs too. i rocko artis? is part of collabo.

  • IT Reply September 8, 2008

    Dufff Nutsz! IT has not unveil you yet, get back to da boof and do your rymix

    Cheri! Dizzy Nutz is phonee, IT discovers oreegino contents

    31337! Take away hateration, bring appreciration! and no such thing as rocko artis, Is indigenious artis.

  • 31337 Reply September 8, 2008

    tomato tometo. shush IT, i is insisteds that is rocko artis. indiginas indicates things of related to homo whatever the scientists of digging up bones harp on about.

  • IT Reply September 8, 2008

    I n I no butty artis. I is indeginious. Clever to da core!

  • 31337 Reply September 8, 2008

    RIght. You walk upright you do, on two feets? I would say homo erectus but i am sure you shall find a suitably witty [NOT] pun to attach to that, literally, shall i refer you to a dictionary IT if you may have not access to such an item what about the www web dictionary? [another pun minefield]

  • antipop Reply September 8, 2008

    These comments are all migraine inducing. I would be glad for some normal English i can read. Please Ivan, write us a copy of this seemingly nice post in the queen’s English
    yours faithfully,
    antipop

  • antipop Reply September 8, 2008

    also, am i the only one finding fault with Dizzy Nuts? isn’t it enuff that the just be hanging all day without having to be dizzy? One of these days they might fall off.
    concerned,
    antipop

  • 31337 Reply September 8, 2008

    antipop. this is intereshual discussion. nuts have no place hia, even ones at peril of falling off.

  • IT Reply September 8, 2008

    31337; IT walks on two feets true, but some time when IT has done de ganja with Baby Whine, IT can fly! IT don’t need da dictionary. IT is smart

    Antipop; Da queen don’t know stuff. She be enslaving us all the time, IT won’t let her enslave Da English of IT

  • 31337 Reply September 8, 2008

    wheere did cousin IT go?

  • Mudamuli Reply September 8, 2008

    ‘Chica, hey’

    Hilarious!

  • phoebe Reply September 8, 2008

    head bowed..laughter. chocking. tears

    I seriously cant go all the way. will be reading it in bits for a week…spreading
    my laughs over the days

  • IT Reply September 8, 2008

    IT has returned. IT is Back For Da First Time, Like that guy Ludacrist

    And nobody talk about Nutsz in any form, coz no one’s ready to deal with us. There’s no escapin this.

    Mudamuli, IT is also profound, yeah?

    Phoebe. IT likes bowed head. is sign of respects. You will be my first producer

  • Miss Cheri Reply September 8, 2008

    Ludacrist??? U’re a real rocko artis.

    I have read the comments from It but still can’t make any sense out of them.

    Okay, I’m done.

  • tumwijuke Reply September 9, 2008

    Haha. You are soooooo not gangsta. Come here for a hug you cuddly thing.

  • IT Reply September 9, 2008

    Cheri, IT is indegeneous Artis, ai-ah for short, not like dem kid fox and sweet kids y’all look down on, n’uh’msayin?

    Tumwijuke, It is gangsta and only reason IT will come for hug is because IT loves him some Gangsta Huggin’

  • Mudamuli Reply September 9, 2008

    Lawd ave mercy!

    A fi dat pastor.

    Pastor Jackson Senyonga!

  • Carlo Reply September 10, 2008

    You’re Indiginous! Some sort of insult is in there somewhere IT, find it.

  • IT Reply September 10, 2008

    Carlo; IT is ingeneous, is what you be sayin, innit?

  • Alesi Reply September 10, 2008

    Circular Vitamins!?!??!

    You are simply priceless!!

  • Sleek Reply September 10, 2008

    I still insist..IT, get proper dreads..no roco artis is complete without them..and that single is a winner…you should call the album ‘pastoring all over the world’

  • IT Reply September 10, 2008

    This just in, IT to corrobarate with Klear Kut. Got da word from Nivea. He say, “if da game needed a saviour, you IT” that there is DA SHIT

    Alesi: IT come with price tag, if you find me in good mood, IT give you good deal

    Sleek: IT growing aphro puff

  • antipop Reply September 11, 2008

    IT is silly. i demand that sanITy be brung back to this place this instant

  • phoebe Reply September 11, 2008

    Okay Ivan seriously; Snap Out of It
    -( cher)

  • Sleek Reply September 13, 2008

    be wary of dandruff as you grow that afro..we don’t want you ‘making it rain’ as u perform on stage….and as long as you get navio away 4m his coca cola brrrrr (sp) hommies, you guys’l have a hit…i want in…me i do acapella one person(heard that somewhere..still not sure what it means)

  • Alesi Reply September 16, 2008

    Roco artis sure sounds loco!!!

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