Ivan Musoke

So I Say Thank You For The Moslems

“So I say
Thank you for the music Moslems, the songs Im singing fast they ended
Thanks for all the joy they’re bringing
Who can live without it ‘em, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance moon or a star
What are we?
So I say thank you for the music Moslems
For giving it Eid to me”

Before all that…

I was in full-on panic mode. See I’d figured that the public holiday would fall on Friday and as such structured a great deal of my life around that.


The grapevine started squirting its juice all over my plans, raining on my parade if you will. Some sections of the public (read; management) said that Eid wasn’t going to fall on Friday. That there was a higher chance it would occur over the weekend. What good would it be then?


I set out to find my Moslem pals. The first one I asked didn’t know what I was talking about. And like that he was written off my feast crashing plans. So naturally, I moved on to the next one. I NEED ME A PUBLIC HOLIDAY DAMMIT!! The good news here is that this one did in fact know what Eid was, the bad news; He didn’t know when.

My Christian pal pasted a link into my chat window that was by and large the best thing EVER!, (huh. What? Oh that’s right… BEST THING EYVAH!!”) I maintain this link had a more profound effect than any porn site address (if that’s your thing) or video game site (which is your thing) or website selling RABBIT’s of questionable proclivity. (your thing).(read: rabbit HARDWARE!)

Thing is, this was coming from a Christian and as a general rule of web, I don’t think anything away from Al Jazeera is authentic as regards Islam. So in as much as I was glad to have this website, I still had a nagging doubt. Then he told me to check Wikipedia. Surely that must carry some weight… right?


I left the office pretty late. This in part to some corrupt files, which are different from corrupt fools because they generally have no access to our funds…So I leave late and do the whole earphone-music-listening thing that’s become a part of me and flag down a “Boda-Boda” (read: a motor-bike rider with dare-devil qualities and a need to make money off said abilities) and proceed to haggle.

This in itself was a bad move, because I may have given him the idea that I really wanted to conversate. As such, my music-listening thing was cut short because Host-Rider engaged me in some good ol’ convo involving CHOGM (hurray!) the state of the roads (Wow!) and finally Eid… suffice to say, the Eid contribution was mine.

The rider was only too happy to inform me that it was NOT going to be on Friday but probably on Saturday or (God Forbid) Sunday. I distinctly recall rolling my eyes at this point… which also wasn’t a good idea, seeing as it blurred my vision somewhat which made a streetlight take on the appearance of the full-moon. True Story. At that point I suppose I’d have seen a full moon anywhere.

Having got home I went about the business of finding me a Moslem. Then I went on a rant of sorts, being bitchy and complaining that its not fair that Christians are forthcoming about these things and Moslems aren’t. I might have gone on a rant about how we do not play carrot-on-a-stick with our holidays…like say, Christmas. Its true. Imagine the ire at waking up on Dec. 25th to hear that Christmas has been postponed till further notice. The pope, it seems, doesn’t feel its time, but hey, stay tuned.

Shortly after getting home I received a call from my boss. I looked at the name flashing on the display with a certain apprehension. With a resigned sigh I answered said call.

He: Seems your prayers have been answered..
Me: (thinking, not saying): Nuh, I checked already, Jolie and Alba are not in my room waiting for me to partake of… them… (actually said)… yeah?
He: I can hear Moslems not so far away … they sound happy…
Me: Do you mean…
He: Yes, I think tomorrow is Eid. See you on Monday
So, naturally I went down to the ATM, hoping to have myself a celebratory… celebration. The Machine was not relenting. I went home and slept.

A pal called me up on Friday at roughly about 4pm… shortly after my heavy Matooke meal… same pal I’d called that didn’t know when Eid was… it was a brief call really… said there was a lunch thingy at his… was I interested? Does Kampala have potholes? Hell Yeah I was interested… in any case, it was going to be the last meal I would partake of with gusto before pouring my energy in planning for my party / drink up / costume thingy…

Speaking of which…

p.s- This dude ain’t lyin’




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