Previously in this life…

I have been down with malaria. I also believe I am in massive need of detox. Discuss.

You know how someone can look at you and go like, “You look sick, is it malaria?” and you’re thinking, “huh?!” coz you’re feeling sawa, then within the next couple of hours you develop a proper bout of the damn disease. Yeah? Then you will understand where I’m coming from. The past week has been not unlike a roll of Cactus Toilet Paper– A bonafide pain in the arse!.

As if Discovery Channel
I found out that the female anopheles mosquito (The BITCH!!) is actually a pretty quiet insect. It minds its own. Its spouse on the other hand is all talk and no action. Basically, the mosquito you keep swatting away  owing to its incessant noise is the male and very vegetarian mosquito. That’s right, the wrong bug has been taking the fall. Experts suggest that we listen out for the female anophelese in order to do away with malaria once and for all…

All this socializing.
The last time I went to the clinic, my blood component levels were perfect. I took this to mean that my liver is also okay, which should mean that the booze is doing zilch to me…for now. Realistically, I can’t saunter in to my doctor’s office or room or whatever and tell him I am an excessive drinker and I’m concerned about the state of my liver. I have a rep to protect.

The guy is no priest and so there is no guarantee he will not tell my next of kin as soon as they come in for treatment, “That dude’s ****ed up!

I remember some time I went for a check up, nay, for treatment. I was complaining about chest pains and he runs the routine tests and he tells me it may be because I was working out too much.

I am not trying to sound modest or anything, in fact screw modesty, I’m lanky! For anyone to imply that I have been working out usually raises my paranoia. I go on the defensive and stay there until you make your intentions clear.
The following day the doctor found me helping a friend do some shopping at a supermarket. As I was walking over to say hi, he gives me a “nod of approval” and says, “go easy on the work-out!”
Before I could say anything he walked out. All the while I’m thinking, “Hey! You don’t know me like that!!”

I am trying to cut back on all the drinking, but somehow something keeps coming up that forces me to consume various brews. It was cool back in the day when I did it just to test how HARDCORE I was, but that was a year ago and I hadn’t truly suffered a hangover.
With any luck this week will mark the end of my drinking… well, until that birthday thing I need help planning

I have also been trying to flesh out my portfolio blog, a task that would be made so much easier if I actually had work to put there. The last company I worked for was… well, the creative element involved cutting out an image, pasting it on a white background and then placing a blue box beneath it. This, as you can tell, is the kind of creativity that a child freshly introduced to colors can pull off with ease. Nonetheless, it paid the bills… didn’t win me accolades, and certainly didn’t give me some competitive advantage over a three year old seeking employment in the same field… but it helped me get along just fine. And it carried the requisite migraine and threat of high blood pressure that modern employment provides.

I am equally riled by the whole 50% extra credit that networks are dishing out. Yes, I am used to making late night calls and all, but that’s on MY terms, not those belonging to some lobotomized ape in a telecom company. Its really thrown me off, BIG TIME. I am not longer thoughtful and caring (yes, that’s what I am trying to convey by calling at weird hours)…

I have been relegated to a CHEAPSKATE! And then I seem to be mad-sleepy lately, I fall asleep in the middle of flirty texts; an abomination, I think, that falls close behind to falling asleep during coitus.

I wouldn’t know.

Comments

comments

9 Comments

  • Cheri Reply September 14, 2007

    Sockies….Yippee!!!

  • Cheri Reply September 14, 2007

    Oh, I need to get over these socks before I can read the post…. Now off to read the post.

  • Cheri Reply September 14, 2007

    Cactus Tissue paper…Ivan??? Is that why u walk like that? With some unusual limp? I thought u were re-inventing the bounce….

  • Tandra Reply September 14, 2007

    u wouldn’t know???? ((raised eyebrow))

  • Darlkom Reply September 14, 2007

    Wouldn’t you?

  • Darlkom Reply September 14, 2007

    It is worrying that people are actually calling you out on this. Is there something I should know as your very best friend in the whole wide world?

  • The 27th Comrade Reply September 14, 2007

    Oh. My. God. That. Profile. Blog. Ro. Ck. Eth. Hard.

    /me bows.

  • Cheri Reply September 15, 2007

    Baz said somewhere that u have yo finger on the PULSE…. And something else about heroin. He mentioned the words heroin, addiction and your name all in one sentence. It hink u need to sort him out.

    Just sayin.

  • tumwijuke Reply September 15, 2007

    So that’s why I don’t get called after 10 pm any more? The one guy with remote, really fringe interest in me is afraid he won’t be called sensitive?

    Oh dear.

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