I has made comeback

I have been dreading this. The return to the Blogosphere.I really wish I had a great excuse for the absence. I do, actually. And as far as excuses go, this one is great. Won’t get into it though, not really my style.

While I was away, Ernest introduced me to Lolcats. Its, by his definition, this phenom that has swept the states like a craze involving pix of cats and silly captions…and very bad grammar. In fact, that is one of the reasons I have abstained from blogging for a bit. I was actually afraid that my grammar had been tainted…

Joshi is bringing back his Askari tales, and how awesome is that? There’s some inspiration in there somewhat. I want to make money so bad; I am without a fitting idiom. That’s just how bad it’s gotten.

There is an advert that’s been running in the press lately. It’s a loan thingy from Barclays and then there’s a lingering question, “What would you do with it?”. I’m sorry Barclays, but I cannot tell you that. Why don’t you just give me the money without the questions? I imagine the transaction will go thus;

Me: I saw your ad in the paper.
They: So you want a loan? Of 20 million? Like in our advert?
Me: Uh, yes. Actually. I just want money. It doesn’t need to be 20 million. I just want to “be around”
They: Of course. Now sign here and answer me this….What will you do with it?
Me: Huh?
They: But surely, you musta seen it coming. Its in the advert.
Me: I just thought it was part of the creative process.
They: Creative what? Anyway, what do you want to be around for?
Me: I just want to have some money on me, you know, so when my friends are buying airtime I can also pull out my money and say “Boy, bring me airtime of 100,000/= also.” I want to be able to pay for my fare in the taxi. I’m tired of that deal I have to make with the taxi conductor where I sit on him and I don’t have to pay…
They: You…you sit on the conductor?
Me: Times are hard…

The other day I picked up Grey’s Anatomy which we all know is a chic series…which is why I didn’t pick it up for myself. So, she borrows it, yeah, and then she says that its 24. That was funny on very many levels. I hate 24. Then again, I reasoned, as I have been known to, that it was Grey’s 24 Hour Anatomy. Then I was asked to shut up.

Bought a new housing for my phone. It gives the false impression that I have in fact purchased a new phone. Until the battery bars drop dramatically from full to zilch. I suspect they move to someone else’s phone, because everyone else seems to have full batteries. And they say shit like, “ That’s odd, I could have sworn I had no more battery “power”…Ivan, is your phone still donating battery?”
I have network though, loads of it. In fact, I am tempted to think that my battery never is charged but what I see is in fact the network bars as they are touring the edges of my screen.

Speaking of screens, this paragraph has been added in an attempt to pass time. I was tired of looking at the screen and then it hit me. This is not going anywhere. The page is still loading. Taking its sweet time, the page is.

I have come to accept that life is too short to wallow in self pity and all. Rather, look back, smile as you remember the good stuff. And if numbers make sense….here’s looking at you.

Comments

comments

11 Comments

  • ish Reply June 13, 2007

    nze asoose wano

  • The 27th Comrade Reply June 13, 2007

    You sit on the conductor? It has gotten that bad? And I hate the way you seem to look at this a bit jocularly … it feels serious under the hideously-funny skin.

    I can has cheeseburger?

  • Samantha Reply June 13, 2007

    Lol! Funny as always!

  • jamrose Reply June 13, 2007

    oh dude youve seen that cheeseburger dude too? what the F is he on? now i can die, ive seen the day when i blog more than NadaYada

  • Joshi Reply June 13, 2007

    dude the title sounds like something borat would say! Banks are capiltalist friggers who dont deserver to live!!

  • Baz Reply June 13, 2007

    Made you a cake.

  • Baz Reply June 13, 2007

    http://www.Photo-Host.org/view/602216lolivan.jpg

    Here it is. WordPress ate the link before.

  • Mataachi Reply June 14, 2007

    Mez glad youz back!

  • Tandra Reply June 14, 2007

    u has? lol… okay, u explained the grammar but still!! the conductor deal? How did u come to that agreement? Always important information to know….

  • Be Silent Reply June 14, 2007

    You sit on the conductor? call me whenever you need the fare just cant stand people thinking u are gay and are trying yo moves on the condi

  • Darlkom Reply June 14, 2007

    You are definitely on form. This is hilarious.

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