Ivan Musoke

How're You Doin' ? Good? Tomorrow's my birthday…

I’m in pain. So much so, the rest of this piece will be written in the style of a Telenovela…

Pains of Life
I’m not okay. In fact, I am not well. You see, the thing is (gratuitous use of a term of endearment coming up) my love, I am in pain. And its not just any kind of pain. Its coming from without, not from within. Its not the pain of my spirit, my love. Its…(tension inducing background music) My TOE! (If I’ve done this just right, you have an “oh-shit”-esque expression on your face right now)
Yes, my toe. You see, I actually believe in keeping my nails short. This is because…they, are easier to manage that way, and, my darling, they become easy to manage. No no no, its not only that, but, I don’t have to keep buying a new pair of socks because the old one got torn under mysterious circumstances. The truth is, my love, my sweetheart, my dear…I think that cursed Adolfo Cortez is behind this.
He will rue, no, he will pay for this, this uh, this shit! Yes, I said shit, thrice in the same post…alarmed? Quite frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn. For you see, I may have forgotten to tell you. I have a nail retreating…and its not retreating quietly like Lorenzo did when he made that girl from that poor family of..of poor peasants…with no money, even poorer by condemning her to (cue stroke-inducing background track) a life of…MOTHERDOM. Yes, yes, I said it, Motherdom..what do you mean it doesn’t make sense?
Does anything ever make sense? Has anything in this piece made sense?
I am slated to meet with a doctor today. Its a lady so I think the sensible thing to do is to avoid flirting. See the thing is, she will be holding a blade, and if there’s anything I’ve picked up from Kenyanchick. Its this… women don’t take crap from people… I also picked up the same sentiment after watching the first Basic Instinct…and BOUND..
I’ve tried out fear, Its not something I wear well. I think people can see it on me. For as far as long as I can remember, people have been able to drop hints…
Before an examination; “If you read you wouldn’t be afraid…”
Meeting my parole officer; ” Looks like you did something wrong..”
Traffic Officer: “If you’d had the sense to use a seatbelt you wouldn’t be scared… (damn, man…I’m on a motorbike, that’s a stretch…even for anyone reading this…)
Fear is nasty..it makes you go on and on about nuthin. just to prolong the time to your fate, but before you know it its here…you can do squat about it in …THE END.



1 Comment

Leave a Reply