Ivan Musoke

Censor This..

Since the dawn of existence, there have always been moments when the course of history shifted. Such a turning point is upon us now. The conflict between the better and worst angels of our very nature. Whose outcome will change our world so greatly…there will be no going back. I do not know if victory is possible. I only know that great sacrifice will be required. And because the fate of many will depend on a few, we must make the last stand.

The Powers That Be ( I really have no idea who they were in this case) decided that we as a nation should not watch Brokeback Mountain. I can’t recall what the argument was. I think they may have been afraid that some Ugandans,too impressionable, would watch the movie and then turn gay…or (God Forbid)…become GAY COWBOYS.
Understandably that would be a very bad thing. The last thing we need in our country are cowboys. We have enough problems as it is with the Karamajong and their rustling.
***And in the news today, we are pleased to report that the cattle rustling problem is the same.It is unchanged,I repeat.UNCHANGED.Incase you were afraid of travelling before,you can rest easy because our government has prevented a national calamity…COWBOYS coming into existence…In other news, a whale saved a cow when…***

Its worth noting that we are also not keen on watching the Vagina Monologues….Sure,its okay for Champion King Masterpiece to stage a series of shows in a language no one has understood…or will bother to,but we can not be enlightened by the monologues. For crying out loud…its just a monlogue.Where is the harm in that? Its one sided…

While they are at it,they let V for Vendetta slip under the radar…I am not sying its altogether a surprising thing.I mean…Vendetta,man! how is that going to arouse any sentiments in the masses? Brokeback will,but a movie with V (the symbol one of the politicians back here uses) and the word Vendetta is just fine…I think the government is not giving us enough credit. We are really not that dumb…Seriously,we didn’t buy the water level excuse to justify loadshedding. Someone’s taking the piss…and we are not happy…Ofcourse you can’t see that.Its too blody dark to show it.

The Da Vinci Code is here.No one has said anything.Heck I wouldn’t mind a prophecy right about now…
****There will be 6 movies released. One will not be shown and that will leave 4.Of the 3 that remain 1 will be about church and the other will have spice…what?who…oh…sorry.I meant Spies,but not like the ones being tried for treason.No,these ones have money. A LOT OF MONEY. If you want that kind of money come here and touch this reel and it shall be yours…***

Soon we are going to have the X-Men movie.Am I excited? Quite,but I made the fatal mistake of going here.So I’m going in just so the people at the cinema don’t think I only do 12 in one DVD’s that we get from Malaysia…a country that is more gifted by nature than ours if the adverts running on CNN are to be believed…




  1. That water level excuse was so deplorable. In 2001, I went to Richmond, Virginia and I was amazed to see that I could literally walk across the river where they generate that city’s power from.

    Kinda reminds of that AIDS came about by people mating with monkeys theory.
    Who ever sleeps with both monkeys and human beings? Either it’s with monkeys or humans. No two ways about it.When you get started on monkeys, that’s it for you.No going back and forth between monkeys and humans.(courtesy “Rabbi” Dave Chapelle)

  2. man, those monkeys with red asses – baboons rite? – must be so damn freaky in the sack… i mean nest… i mean in the place on a tree where they get it on.

  3. the vagina monologues were in a city near me last month, and i almost went to check it out, and i rember bein real excited thinkin’ “who’s laffin now, home gov’t??”… but i was busy that nite…

  4. @Baz,technically he didn’t lie.His argument was about the original idea of AIDS coming from people mating with primates. Here they suggest it’s from killing and eating them.

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